It's been a blur.
Mum and baby arrived home on Friday and the first night was troublesome so neither of us slept well as we were on tenterhooks. Baby has found feeding on Mum's colostrum difficult, which is the vital early milk produced for the few days after birth that is rich in crucial ingredients for baby's development. It is rich, quite thick and is produced in small amounts - making it tough for baby to draw down. Mum noticed on the second night that baby was distressed at feeding and decided to supplement with a bottle of SMA formula despite protests from the mid-wives. She has also taken to expressing extra colostrum to ease pains in her breasts but to produce more for the baby at feeding times with less difficulty.
At this point, you have to understand my wife is committed to breast feeding but she also knows you have to trust your motherly instincts. If baby needs more - give it. What he clearly needed was more volume and, specifically, fluids. Due to that early trouble feeding he developed mild jaundice, but now, in a combination of breast and bottle feeding, he has had his 6 day check up where it is typical for a newborn to lose 10% of body weight and he has lost just one ounce. That's a small victory for common sense over dogma and my simple advice to would-be parents is to use your own judgement as the NHS is so fixated on 100% breast feeding it is actually putting children's health at risk - or at least that's my opinion.
The other thing we learned early on is that 'skin to skin' is both awesome and really helpful at feeding times. Part of it is the shock of coolness on the skin from the air but most of it is the touch of the mum and it really helps in breast feeding. Another thing we learnt is that mid-wives are no experts - they have great experience but there is a huge volume of differing opinions and no actual right line. You have to take advice and trust your own judgement.
The first few days at home have been a huge learning curve amidst lack of sleep. I am exhausted so just imagine what mum feels like while baby is thriving - at the least the priorities are right. We found ourselves to be more prepared than we thought we were - the cot is ace, the moses basket excellent and the tons of outfits and nappies all went down well. Then came the overwhelming and incredible generosity of others - family and friends. Neighbours decorated the porch, sister-in-laws brought us box loads of hand-me-downs, the flowers were copious and then there were the gifts.
Tons of clothes - tons of clothes - some disguised at flowers in bouquets, shawls of vintage wool, toys of all sizes with a rat or mouse playing a lullaby if you tug its tail, a Welsh pillow with a sheep on it (well he has to grow up in the right environment), a silver spoon, books, DVDs shoes, mittens, socks, outfits - it is endless. We have a had a constant stream of visitors with neighbours walking across the courtyard to family arriving from Wales for just a few hours. The emotions have run high, the tea has flowed and the cakes have been vital. It's been a roller coaster of feelings and we still have to catch our breath when we look upon our little miracle and think how long we have waited for these moments and realise it was well worth the wait.
We've had a few wailing fits, plenty of soiled nappies, a few baths, baby weeing on himself when you are fumbling for a clean nappy, little bits of vomiting though not much, a couple of feeding issues but no real hassles, but nothing really prepared us for the 'Gestapo' or the initial visit of the mid-wives. Like 'dementors' from Harry Potter they arrive unannounced, creep around you and quickly suck the euphoria from you as they assume that you are bad parents and you have to prove them otherwise. Their line of questioning was to challenge my wife's decision to supplement breast with bottle asking for justifications. I was seconds away from asking whether I had missed something and that non-breast feeding had been outlawed in statute. Fortunately my wife had more patience. Another mid-wife arrived today when I was at the dentist and she was excellent, applauding the supplementary bottles and my wife's attention to the baby ahead of all else, echoing the Paediatrician's views in the hospital. A victory for common sense.
The feeling of tiredness is debilitating but you just take one look into his face and you get all the adrenalin you need.
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