Meet The Dogs

It had been a worry for us - how would our dogs react to a new member of the family? And one that will upset the hierarchy at that.

As the pregnancy progressed, it was important to make sure the dogs didn't dive on my wife as they are apt to do, so we have definitely been different with them. They have also sensed a change, perhaps they pick up changes in hormones or sensitivities but they have certainly been different of late. Since the baby has arrived, their movements in the house have been curtailed. No longer can they roam freely from room to room or hop from furniture to furniture, they are confined to the kitchen, utility and lounge thanks to our series of well placed doors.

They are feeling down, that's for sure. The baby gets most of the attention and they spend lots of time alone while I am able to walk them less. Hopefully the latter will change soon but as my wife recovers, it's hard to be away for any length of time.

So today we let them get close to the baby and both were very curious and gentle. Both gave him a good sniff and tried to get close enough for a few little licks but no contact was made. The girl dog looks very maternal and concerned, while the boy is more concerned whether the baby will always get fed first and if it can throw a ball yet. The toys are the main targets - the girl has eyed the mouse with the music string built into its tail and I can see that getting swiped and mauled at some point soon. Cleanliness is the priority but we have also ruled that we should never have the baby in a room with the dogs without at least two adults present - you cannot afford to take a chance even if you trust your dogs like we do ours. Time will form a lasting bond between the child and the dogs but that has only just started.

We are getting little sleep. Young Scott gets crotchety for a feed in the wee hours at least twice a night and takes time to settle back which means I at least start him sleeping on me. While we know that this is not the best policy for getting him used to his basket, the fact is that I love having him near me. And while he sleeps on me, I sleep very little, mainly as I am too scared that I might move and he falls off.

We still keep getting gifts via post. A former colleague sent me a beautiful Baby Journal with lots of 'first things' to record in there like first nappy etc. Today two firsts happened - while I changed his nappy, the stub of his umbilical cord fell off to reveal a perfect tummy button and the second was that he puked over me with gusto this morning, raining milky vomit over my tee shirt and the lovely clean romper suit I had just put on him. We also had a parcel from France where one of my wife's clients sent a package of bath towels and a flannel.

Today, I have been really caught up by the emotion of it all - I guess it still had not hit me totally. I spoke to one of my sisters and my brother, then got a text from my elder sister. Between them all, in a quiet moment as I looked at my emails, I had a quiet weep to myself.

My son will get to meet a of lot of wonderful people that I love in his life but I thought of the people he will not get to meet. My parents are in the back of my mind all of the time and rarely I go a night without seeing at least one of them in my dreams. Right now, as far away as they may seem to be, I have never felt closer to my parents who died in 1991 and 1996 respectively and were the greatest influence on my life.

I am so glad that he will get to know his other grandparents who fell in love with him approximately 3 hours after he was born as the first visitors awaiting our return from the Recovery Area. Granny was 'horse whispering' him today and he stared back into her eyes as if listening to every word.

You can see that today has been a real weepy one - proud as punch one minute and a teary wreck the next. As we approach the end of the first week of our son's life I think I will have many more like these.

Bring it on.

Dogs And A New Baby

I have blogged on this before and if you google the subject of 'Dogs and a new born baby' you will find a whole host of information on the subject.

It's a more serious problem than I first eluded to as we have TWO beautiful border collies and they are our pride and joy. From their perspective we are their pets - they roam the house, sleep where they want, play where they want and use any old object as toys although they usually stick to lots of balls of all types. But if baby toys are around then they will certainly play with them.

In fact, only yesterday my brother and sister-in-law brought around their two twins of just over a year old. There were tons of family there so the dogs loved it. Around the twins they were superb and they have seen many young children and have always been fantastic. The breed is meant to be 'medium' when it comes to liking kids but in fact we have found both to actually thrive with kids. The female dog is more wary of very young children and so will usually keep out of their way, yet yesterday she went up and quietly smelt the backs of their heads and gave gentle licks. The boy dog, meanwhile, loves interaction and so he was going about his normal games but actually avoiding the children as he ran around. He also went up and sniffed each twin and gave gentle licks on the nose. The dogs also stole a plastic duck to play with which they have now claimed as theirs. Alarm bells rang on all counts.

So while our dogs do not appear dangerous with kids - in fact, quite the opposite - the problem really revolves around the way they take toys and generally how they interact with the kids in terms of curiosity and, particularly, licking. We also have a brilliant picture (above) of the boy dog with a friend's 1.5 year old daughter on his back as she rode him, holding onto his ears for support - child and dog loved it.

There are other serious issues. Firstly, the dogs are the centre of our attention. They get played with, they want cuddles and they have tons of walks. They have the run of the place. So if a new child comes into the mix, they may no longer be the centre of attention and they will certainly not have the run of the place - jealousy may come into play. The second thing is that dogs carry germs. No matter how often you bath your dog or think they don't smell - they are still animals and they have lots of bacteria on them, on their rears and mouths. They love to lick and sit so you can imagine the kinds of possibilities here. They are walking and living dangerous things just from the fact they carry bacteria around.

We are meticulous in the way we wash our hands and handle food but we are going to have to step up a gear. Lots of anti-bacteria gel and thoroughly cleaned surfaces and feeding things. We are also going to have to ban the dogs from upstairs where the baby sleeps as they roam at nights, sleeping where they want. There is also fur - we have tons of it around the house and we wash things so many times that we regularly fill up the filter on the washing machine which has to be cleaned out. This is going to have to change. The lawn is a human no-go area no matter how many times we clean up out there - these things are now real issues to us where once we were laissez-faire about the two animals.

They are not going to like all this clamping down and new rules, that's for sure. And they won't like not being No. 1 attention-magnets in our house. I have tried talking them through it, introduced them to the 'bump', made constant references to the arrival of a new 'baba' plus we have attempted to let them know the new rules. Either they don't understand Powerpoint, can't read memos or they are ignoring me.

We don't want to curb our dogs too much but we are going to have to get them used to the idea of a new baby and what they can and can't do right from the start. There are plenty of tips and articles on websites about this but we have a headstart. Border Collies are extremely intelligent dogs and the boy dog currently responds and differentiates between around 50 and 100 different words, objects and commands. The girl just lets on she doesn't know. The command 'leave' is the strongest they have both learnt and that will be a major help. The first steps of introduction will be vitally important to set the proper scene and we will have to make sure that we still give ample attention to the dogs as well as the baby.

What most of the articles do say is that the mum has to re-assert herself as the leader of the pack - the alpha. My wife has no problem with this as she is seen as the household matriarch by everyone already and I am down the bottom of the ranking stack in the dogs' minds although the girl dog is definitely as daddy's girl. However, the point is well made. The key things for us is to watch out for are jealousy and stealing.

But in the back of my mind, I certainly do not ever want to leave our dogs alone with the child even for a second. As much as we love our dogs, they are animals and we should never forget it.

Cleanliness means more washing and thorough attention to detail and several 'dog-free' zones declared in the house. I wish we had a larger garden to segment an area where the dogs cannot roam but that will not be possible - we will just have to make sure we clean up more often and lay blankets down in the warm weather.

But we are also very much looking forward to having fulsome family. My wife and I both believe the dogs will thrive on having a new family member but we will be very, very cautious in those early weeks and months.

After that, I will post the pictures of them all playing.